


Never was much of a dancer

by Nary



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Background Hera Syndulla/Kanan Jarrus, Clones, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Jedi, Old Friends, Past Relationship(s), Relationship Advice, Sexual Content, Sexual Inexperience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 09:31:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14282010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nary/pseuds/Nary
Summary: How did you ask a woman out in the middle of a rebellion, on a crowded ship, when every day was another crisis?  How were you supposed to ask out a Jedi - or a woman who used to be a Jedi, anyway, and who knew if she still kept to their vows? Come to think of it, how did you ask out awoman?





	Never was much of a dancer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rachaelizame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachaelizame/gifts).



How did you ask a woman out in the middle of a rebellion, on a crowded ship, when every day was another crisis? How were you supposed to ask out a Jedi - or a woman who used to be a Jedi, anyway, and who knew if she still kept to their vows? Come to think of it, how did you ask out a _woman_?

Rex had given the matter some thought - a lot of thought, actually. And while he still wasn't sure it was a good idea, it occurred to him that at least one other person around had gone through something at least vaguely similar - Hera Syndulla. If there was anyone who'd understand, it would be her. 

Getting a few moments alone with her was harder than expected. Every time he tried to approach her, one of the kids would come up with some problem that needed her attention, or some piece of the Ghost would break and she'd have to fix it, or she'd be called into some strategy meeting with Sato and the other commanders, or she'd finally manage to have a bit of time with her own Jedi and Rex couldn't bring himself to interrupt that. They got little enough privacy as it was. 

Finally he was able to catch Hera between emergencies, while she was grabbing a bite to eat. He sat down beside her, bolstering his courage to get straight to the point, because if he didn't, he'd never say anything. "I've been wondering," he began, "how things work with you and Kanan." 

Hera shot him a bemused look and Rex decided that probably hadn't been the best way to express himself. "I mean," he continued, "I knew the Jedi. I served with plenty of them - some of the best. And they had a whole... thing... about getting attached to people." He didn't say that the Jedi's code had caused as many problems as it solved, from anything he'd noticed - that was neither here nor there, and he wasn't about to speak ill of the dead, anyway. 

Hera nodded. "Even when someone isn't a Jedi anymore, because there's no Order to be a part of, and they've walked away from whatever ashes are left, they're still a Jedi. At least in the sense that they have a lot of internalized hangups and guilt and issues to work through."

Rex thought back to what he'd been able to observe of General Skywalker and his secret relationship with Senator Amidala, and couldn't disagree with that. "That kinda stuff they're taught when they're kids, it sticks with them."

Hera gave him a sidelong glance. "You could say that about everyone, though. Any relationship is going to have issues, because anyone who's lived long enough has baggage they bring with them. It's possible to overcome most things, with patience and time."

"Time," Rex sighed. "That's one thing none of us have enough of."

"Mmm." Hera made a sound of general agreement. "So why are you spending time talking to me instead of to her?"

Rex blushed. "Was it that obvious?"

"There aren't many former Jedi around, and if you're thinking of going after Kanan, you're going to have to fight me first," she said with a smile that suggested she knew she'd win. Her expression grew more serious as she continued, "What worked for Kanan - how he was able to come to terms with his past and move beyond it - might not be the same for Ahsoka."

"What worked for Kanan?" Rex asked.

"As far as I can tell," she said with a knowing smirk, "it started with lots of meaningless sex. He had to hide who and what he was, and that was part of how he survived. I think he could justify it to himself because it wasn't really forming an attachment with anyone - and because he was a horny teenager," she added. "By the time I came along, he was used to leaving and starting over somewhere else any time he began to get close to anyone. I just gave him good reasons to stay, I guess." 

Rex was pretty sure there was more to it than that, but he didn't want to pry any more than he already had. Still, even without his prompting, Hera continued. "We've also had to accept that we don't have a hold over one another - because of my role in the Rebellion, because of his training Ezra...because of lots of things. We had to see each other as equals, and recognize that sometimes there are bigger issues that have to come first. So please... respect who she is now, and don't expect her to become something else, or give up what matters to her. If she's interested, you can work out the rest from there."

"Thanks, Captain," he said, getting up from his seat. "I'll keep that in mind."

* * *

Most people had to share rooms in such cramped quarters, but Ahsoka had her own small bedchamber kept ready for the times when she wasn't engaged in some rebel mission or other. Maybe Sato had decided that she was important enough to merit a bit of privacy that wasn't afforded to most rank and file members. In any case, it made for a good spot to pay her a visit and hopefully not be interrupted. Rex lingered outside for a bit, gathering his courage. It was funny how the prospect of going into battle was less nerve-wracking. 

Just as he stepped up to the door, ready at last to make his approach, it slid open. Ahsoka smiled warmly to see him there, and Rex returned her grin, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. Of course she'd known he was there - she'd probably been able to sense him with the Force. Even if she wasn't a Jedi anymore, he imagined she couldn't cut off that part of herself - like with so many other things about the past, it was always there. 

"Come in, at last," she said, welcoming him with a sweep of her hand.

"I wasn't meaning to lurk around your door," Rex said bashfully, stepping inside. "I just needed a minute to get my thoughts in order."

"And are they?" Ahsoka asked, as the door slid closed. 

"Not really," admitted Rex. "But I figured they weren't going to sort themselves out with me staring at the wall instead of talking to you."

Ahsoka gave a gentle smile at that. "That seems like a reasonable assumption. I've been expecting you to show up here sooner or later." She sat down on the edge of her bunk and patted the mattress beside her for him to come sit down too. Rex came to her side, sitting with his hands folded awkwardly in his lap because he wasn't sure what else to do with them. "I feel like we've been dancing around each other for days," Ahsoka told him.

"Never was much of a dancer," Rex said. But he was glad she'd noticed it too - that it wasn't all just in his head, maybe from the shock of seeing her again, or the strange experience of being drawn back into the rest of the galaxy after he'd done everything he could to cut himself off. "Seems ridiculous, a couple of old folks like us, not knowing what to say to one another."

Ahsoka grinned more widely at the teasing about her advanced age. "Yes, we're ancient - already in our thirties. You'd think we'd have this all figured out by now."

"Well, I've spent most of the last sixteen years with just Wolffe and Gregor for company," Rex said. "Good fellows in a fight, not always the best for conversation. And I'm not as young and handsome as I used to be." He didn't say aloud that the accelerated aging the clones were subjected to in order to make them into effective soldiers more rapidly had other effects, causing him to look far older than his years. They hadn't been expected to live this long, most likely, so it hadn't been a concern when they were created.

Ahsoka shrugged. "The white beard suits you. It's distinguished." 

"Thanks," said Rex, a bit bashful at her compliment. "You don't look bad yourself." Then he wondered if he should have said something nicer, more flattering maybe - but it was Ahsoka, and she would probably think it was foolish if he tried to spin some flowery poetry for her. "Beautiful, actually," he said instead, and then fell silent, giving her a moment to mull his words over.

Ahsoka reached over and took his hand, squeezing it tight. "Rex..."

His heart raced, not knowing whether she was going to try to let him down easy or what. "Yeah?" 

"We've been through a lot together," she said, considering her words carefully. "And there are so few of us left now who remember those days. When I found out you were alive, I tried to get word to you... I tried over and over, but never got an answer."

"I'm sorry about that," Rex told her. "I never got those messages. Chalk it up to miscommunication among the troops." 

"If you _had_ received my messages, would you have come to me?" Ahsoka asked quietly.

"Well, I'd have replied, at least! Let you know I was doing all right." Rex paused. "I don't know if I'd have jumped to come back, though. It was... a tough choice, joining up again. But for you, Snips, I'd have thought about it real hard."

Ahsoka gave a wistful smile at her old nickname. "We've both lived a lifetime since the last time anyone called me that, it feels like. It would be nice to spend some time catching up properly. But time is in short supply right now, I'm afraid."

"I know," Rex told her. "That's why I didn't want to wait any longer to tell you how I felt. We could be sent off in different directions tomorrow and never see each other again. Who knows what could happen?"

"And how _do_ you feel?" Ahsoka asked. 

She was looking up at him, his hand clasped in hers, and Rex figured the easiest way to tell her was to lean down and gently kiss her. He savoured the warm, yielding feel of her lips against his, the way she moved in closer and traced her fingers up his arm, and the soft sigh of her breath as they drew apart at last. If it was going to be the only time, he figured it was a damn fine kiss. "About like that," he told her.

"Very eloquent," Ahsoka said. "Allow me to respond." She curled her fingers around the back of his neck and drew him back for another kiss. This one was less gentle, and went on considerably longer than the first. They were both breathing harder when they separated this time, and Ahsoka's cheeks were flushed. 

"Seems like we're in agreement, then," Rex said, and Ahsoka nodded. After that, neither of them wasted any time in getting down to the matter at hand, tugging one another's clothes off between more kisses and a few moments of embarrassed laughter. 

At last they were squeezed together on Ahsoka's narrow bunk, Rex running his hands over the soft skin of her montrals, her stomach, her breasts, studying their pale markings, acutely aware of how rough and clumsy he felt. "I don't know much about what I'm doing here," he admitted. "Most other times I've been with someone else, it's been one of my... my brothers." He glanced at her, uncertain how she'd respond to that information, but she just smiled.

"I'm glad you've had people who've cared about you, Rex. I would hate to think you'd been alone all these years. It doesn't matter if you're not an expert when it comes to women - we can figure things out together."

"This isn't your first time, is it?" Rex asked, concerned that this was about to be even more awkward than it already was. 

"No," Ahsoka said with a wistful laugh. "I haven't been on my own all this time either. I left the Jedi order, and that meant leaving their rules behind too. I've been fortunate enough to find companionship several times over the years. Mainly female," she added, "but with a few exceptions. Whether it lasted for a few years or a few days, I still value each of them dearly."

"All right... good," he said, relieved. "Wouldn't want to make a mess of this. You can tell me what you want, and I'll do my best to give it to you."

"You're letting me give you orders? That's _definitely_ a change," she teased. 

"Well, in a situation like this, experience outranks everything," Rex replied, giving her another kiss. "So what do you want, General?"

Ahsoka smirked as she rolled on top of him, pinning him down. "Let me show you, soldier..."

Rex let her lead the way, guiding him where she wanted him to go, setting their starting pace with a smooth, steady roll of her hips. He discovered places he could touch her that made her moan and melt. It was bewildering and exhilarating, strange and somehow perfectly familiar. Like they'd never been apart, and yet still were uncovering new secrets about each other. It seemed to last for hours and be over too quickly all at once.

They lay together afterwards, holding one another close in the tight confines of a bunk intended for one. Rex had a thousand questions he wanted to ask her, but none so pressing that it was worth interrupting this moment. Questions about the future _(What comes next? What will we tell people?)_ and the past _(Do you know about Anakin? Where have you been all this time?)_ were all pushed aside to let the present simply exist, allowing it to spread out and encompass them both, shielding them for now from the demands of fate. 

In the end, Ahsoka was the one to speak, breaking the silence with a question of her own. "Will you stay here with me tonight?" She asked it lightly enough, like it was all right with her either way, but Rex could hear a yearning in her voice.

 _I'd stay forever if you asked me to - we could run away together,_ Rex thought but didn't say, bearing Hera's warnings in mind. "Of course," he said instead. "But if we're going to keep doing this, we need to figure out a way to get a bigger bed. Commandeer an extra cot and push them together, or..."

"Or get more blankets and sleep on the floor," she said with a smile. "We'll figure it out."

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr at [naryrising](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/naryrising) if you want to ask questions, make requests, or chat!


End file.
